Stop Gaslighting Yourself: When You Dismiss and Deny That Your Abuse Was Abuse

It takes so much courage to acknowledge that your relationship might not be the picture-perfect scenario you’ve painted for the world and even more so for yourself. It’s even more challenging when we start to face our trauma and stop dismissing it as merely ‘incidents’ in a relationship. 

So, let’s talk about what it might be like to understand, acknowledge, and ultimately heal from trauma and abuse in your relationship. 

Many individuals tend to downplay their feelings or experiences, dismissing them as less significant and painful than they are. This act of self-dismissal is largely a coping mechanism that we utilize to survive the painful realities of our lives. The first essential step towards healing is ceasing this dismissal: embracing and respecting our feelings in their full measure. 

Understanding Trauma 

Trauma can be anything too far outside our window of tolerance, but feeling unsafe in any way in your relationships is absolutely traumatizing. Understanding trauma is the cornerstone of recognizing its manifestation in our lives. Trauma impacts our brain, changes our perspective, and affects how we interact with the world around us. It sneaks up on us wrapped in denial and minimization, driving us to question, “Was it really that bad?” or mutter statements like, “Others have it worse.” This minimization and dismissal cleverly mask the injury and prevent us from venturing further towards healing. 

Empowering Yourself 

An essential aspect of addressing trauma within relationships is not solely recognizing and accepting the abuse but fundamentally empowering oneself. It’s about realizing you’re not just a survivor but a warrior. Find strength in your journey, and find the courage to seek support. We all need that.  You are not alone, and it is essential to understand that asking for support is not just okay; it’s your way out. 

Navigating Towards Healing 

The road to healing is a journey—one that unfolds differently for every individual. Therapeutic methods like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and somatic therapy offer monumental help in trauma healing. Sometimes, just having a trained and trusted other on your side is all you need to start moving toward growth and healing.

Create a supportive network around you—trusted friends, family, and professionals. Be patient, generous, and compassionate with yourself. 

Finally, remember that it’s okay not to feel okay. 

In navigating through trauma, each day won’t be perfect, and that’s okay. Approach healing as a journey, not a destination. 

Are you ready to stop dismissing your trauma and work towards healing? Everyone’s path is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. 

Please schedule a free consultation today. I’d love to support you in this journey of recovery and discovery. 

You are not alone. Together, we can move through this journey, step by step, from survival to thriving. 

Your history does not have to be your story.

Healing is not impossible—it’s right here, within your reach.