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Do you and your loved one seem to be moving farther and father apart? Do you notice that you are arguing more, feeling more distant, or feeling cut off completely from this person that you had once found so much joy in? The relationship with a significant other is one of the most profound that you will ever experience. It is responsible for keeping us centered emotionally in stressful times, and it is responsible for helping us to feel joy and connection in the world.
When communication gets faulty. . .when we stop feeling heard, seen, and understood.. .when we stop feeling that our partner truly has our back. . .we go to a place where we often feel defensive rather than wanting to defend. We become critical and/or feel criticized. We shut down.
The great news is that couples’ counseling can repair the damage that’s been done over time. Learning to understand our own needs and finding out what deeply rooted needs aren’t being met within our partner is part of the journey, but there are many levels to a lasting and fulfilling relationship, and I’ll help you learn about all of them. I can help you to rebuild your foundation of friendship, learn to communicate and negotiate without contempt, criticism, and shut-down. I can help you to use what you learn about yourself and your partner to build or re-build the lasting and loving relationship you’ve been craving but that has seemed out of reach.
You and your significant other will start with one of the most in-depth assessments ever created, so that we can pinpoint exactly where the trouble areas are in your relationship. This Relationship Checkup will look at five areas in depth:
- Friendship and Intimacy: relationship satisfaction, emotional connection, romance, and admiration
- The Safety Scales: trust, chaos, commitment, and emotional philosophies
- The Conflict Scales: stress, relationship harshness, and conflict management
- The Shared Meaning System: shared rituals, values, and goals
- Individual Areas of Concern: individual issues, safety, sex, depression, drug and alcohol use, violence, anxiety, and other issues that may need psychological or psychiatric help
Using this as a starting point can save you a ton of time in therapy by pinpointing exactly where the challenges are in your relationship so that we can build a road map to fixing what’s not working.
I will teach you proven techniques, skills, and exercises that will begin to conquer the patterns of dysfunction, the hurt, the anxiety, and the shutting down that is destroying your relationship and start to repair the damage.
Call me today at 925-322-1681 so that we can talk about how we can get you both back to where you want to be.